The Refused Destiny
by Sleepwalkingpasthope14
Summary: A simple look into Raven's thoughts as she is tormented by Slade and Trigon. What will she do in order to disobey her own father and not destroy the world? There's going to be a paring here, I'm just not sure who though... possible RavenxRobin... or I might add Rorek or and OC later on.
1. I Don't Want to Think At All

**Disclaimer: I obviously do not own The Teen Titans **

**Please Review. I hope you enjoy.**

I awoke with a headache. Of course I did. This was becoming routine. The reason that I was waking up with headaches every morning was because I was restless throughout the night. I couldn't stop thinking about Trigon. _My father_. The thought of him, and what he was still capable of doing lurked in the back of my mind all the time.

And I was still guilty of the fact that I'd pulled my friends into this mess. Especially Robin. He was the one that understood me the most in the group. He was extremely supportive and was helpful, but I didn't want him getting into this mess… poor Starfire. She was kind as ever, and she wasn't mad at me. Cyborg was still trying to make me laugh, as was Beast boy…. they hadn't freaked out when I'd told them who I was. They hadn't treated me like an abomination the moment that I'd told them who my father was, and why Slade was searching for me. No, they'd continued to be supportive as ever.

I really needed to meditate. I felt weaker without an outlet for my emotions. Yesterday, when I'd gone to Azarath, I hadn't been comforted by what my mother told me. Deep in my heart I knew she truly loved me, but I still felt somewhat rejected by her… I wasn't good in anyone's eyes. Even I knew that. There was no possibility that I was viewed as an innocent being in anyone's eyes. I was the daughter of a demon. I was a true abomination.

If only I had someone similar to me… someone who could relate to me and understand me. I'd truly believed that Malchior had been like me, and that he understood me. But, of course, he was just using me to escape the wretched book. I still hadn't fully recovered from that blow… and right now I was still yearning for someone who could fully understand me and support me. Someone who I could befriend and talk to. Robin told me that I could confide in him and tell him anything, but I really didn't feel like he could understand me, even though we had a strong bond. And Starfire… well, I really didn't feel comfortable telling her my secrets. If only my mother would help me. But I knew I was still an abomination in her eyes, even though she claimed to love me.

I shut my eyes tightly as a sharp pounding continued inside my skull. I had to abstain myself from meditating because _he_ was stopping me. _He_ wanted me to end the world. It was my "destiny." I didn't want to fulfill the prophecy! I didn't want to do any wrong.

I sat up, pushed myself off the bed, and walked across my dark room to the door. It slid open automatically, and I walked down hallway, my footsteps echoing off the walls.

I turned on the lights of the kitchen as I entered. I grabbed the glass pitcher off the table and served myself a glass of water. Taking off my hood, I drank from the glass. I noticed my hand was shaking as I put down the glass. I felt weak. My vision blurred slightly, and my trembling intensified. I grunted and sank down on the ground, clutching my hair in my hands. My headache grew unbearable.

"Raven!" suddenly Robin was kneeling in front of me, and I jerked away with surprise.

"Are you alright Rae? What's wrong?" he asked softly. He looked worried. I noticed he wore his pajamas and his ever-present mask. His black hair was slightly disheveled from sleep.

I didn't want to show how weak I truly was. I stood up, controlling my shaking, and floated a few feet away, using up the last bits of energy I had. "I'm fine," I snapped. "I'm going to my room," I continued coldly. Without waiting for an answer, I used my powers and teleported myself to my room, disappearing in a black heap into the floor.

When I got to my dark room, I collapsed onto the cold floor. I blacked out as soon as I hit the floor.

I woke up late the next day. Sunrays seeped in through a few cracks in the drapes. I squinted. The pounding in my skull was duller, and I felt a bit better. I stood up from the floor and headed for a chest where I kept my ancient books. I opened it and searched through the books. That's when I spotted a familiar white cover; the book in which the dragon Malchior was trapped. I huffed and pushed it down. I grabbed another book. This one was a poetry book. Maybe a bit of literature would help me feel better. I pulled it out and sat cross-legged on the floor. I began reading the first verse of the book-

"Yo, Rae! Come out, dude, we're gonna play a fun game!" I heard Beast boy's muffled voice come from outside my door.

I sighed and waited a bit longer in case he decided to leave.

"Rae!"

Well, I knew it was too good to be true anyway. I didn't want to scare them away either. Not after they'd just accepted me as. The daughter of a sadistic demon.

I set the book down and pulled my hood over my head to hide the fact that my skin was a ghastly pale and that I had dark circles under my eyes. I floated over to the door and it slid open. Beast boy stood there grinning sheepishly with his hands behind his back. I sighed and asked, "What?"

Beast Boy shifted uncomfortably. "We're playing video games and Rob told me to come get you," he said.

"Umm…okay," I said, resigned. I followed Beast Boy to the living room. Starfire, Cyborg, and Robin were already there, and they stared at me. Robin was giving me his weird worried look. I floated over and sat beside Starfire on the couch. The boys quickly became competitive and Starfire joined them as they played their videogames. I just sat there quietly, waiting for the day to end. I didn't want to think about Trigon anymore. I didn't want to think at all…


	2. Author's Note

Alright, so some idiot coward just reviewed my story, stating that angst was no longer interesting to anyone. I strongly disagree to that. Everyone has their own opinions. Stop being a conceited freak and keep your opinions to yourself for the sake of all of us. I will not let you discourage me from my story. I wrote this in the spur of the moment, quite frankly. So I must say this; if you are going to leave hateful, stupid reviews, don't leave any at all. It really irritates me that there are people out there with no manners or common sense. If angst is no longer interesting, then why did you bother reading it, damn it? I'm writing this for people who actually like this type of writing. And by the way, that's Raven's way of thinking. I've always felt like I'm similar to her, in a way. When you write fan fiction, you have to keep the character's actions, moods, etc. the same. So I'll repeat this again; if you don't like it, don't read it. I'm not writing this to please dim wits like you. I'm writing because I like to write, to please _myself_. I apologize profusely if this is offensive to anyone; it's just that people like that anonymous user really piss me off. They're conceited hypocrites. Thank you to anyone who likes this. I will post more up soon, and the next chapter will be longer and more exciting. It'll be up in a few days. I haven't had time to write because my freshman year of high school is closing up and I have other side projects (stories that I write on my own), in the works. Thank you. That is all.

~**_Alexa_**


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